Chapter 11

They took as much time as they could to develop their relationship. Both Ziva and Tony had never really known a happy family life themselves. Which was why they both had strong ideas of how they wanted their life to change. For Ziva, her youth and early twenties had always been about Mossad, training and serving the country. And most of all after Tali died being her father’s pride, because she was supposed to be his super spy and assassin.

For Tony it had been with a mother who was not completely sane and a father who cheated every chance he had. And for both of them the love for their alcohol had been more important then their child. And since he had chosen to be a cop and a NCIS special agent the relationship with his father had deteriorated even further then after his mother’s death.

They had both said that they wouldn’t become their parents. Vowed that they would make things right for their child. From that day on in the elevator they had spend most of their off time together, either at Ziva’s apartment or at Tony’s condo.

There were many late nights where they discussed their pasts and their wishes for the future. And finally they discussed what they thought their life should be like. Tony asked Ziva to move in with him for good, it was the only obvious choice since his condo was bigger then Ziva’s and he had a two spare rooms. Ziva had agreed to it but at the same time she had been scared, not counting her parents, sister and her half brother she had never shared her life with anyone. And living with Tony and with a baby on the way scared her.

Both Ziva and Tony had trouble sharing their feelings with each other; which was not all that surprising and opening up had never been a forté for either of them. They had some fights; bickered, but never to the degree of the early months of Ziva’s pregnancy.

Two months after the ‘elevator incident’ Ziva moved into Tony’s condo. The whole team gave up their weekend to help out and with united efforts most of Ziva’s belongings found a place in Tony’s apartment and to top it of the baby’s room was painted and furnished as well.

Time passed quickly and weeks turned into months. They learned to live with each other and found a comfortable rhythm. Ziva had started her maternity leave and the closer she came to her due date the more nervous they both became. Living together was one thing, since they where in love with each other. Adding a baby to the mix, was something completely different.

Tony had become overprotective, jumping up each time she moved. Asking her if she was okay a million times a day; and worried whenever she didn’t reply to him immediately. When he was at work he would usually calling her multiple times a day. Even to the annoyance of Gibbs who had head slapped him over and over again for that exact reason.

And when he left the house to get groceries he called her when he arrived at the store. One time she had failed to answer her cell phone and not 5 minutes later the front door had slammed open, leaving a dent in the wall where the doorknob had hit it, he had rushed into the living room, screaming her name.

He found her sitting on the couch watching a movie, her cell phone on the kitchen table. He had been annoyed to say the least, but he had clamped his jaws together to prevent him from saying something he would regret later. Ziva had just motioned for him to sit down next to her and soon his anger was forgotten.

Ziva on her turn had been annoyed by his overprotective nature, since she was put on desk duty at work he had been constantly watching her. And if she did something that in his eyes was straining her or too stressful he would try and prevent her from doing it. Since Ziva had no computer skills or forensic knowledge most of her day was spend behind her computer conducting research or doing paperwork. On occasion Jenny asked her to join her in MTAC, to over-see a mission from a different team.

But Ziva was happiest when she was able to do an interrogation. Tony thought that it was too stressful for her to do them which caused Ziva to tell him to shut up and that she was not going to stop. Besides that Ziva was convinced that she was safe, there was always an officer in the room and her team members where watching through the one way mirror.

Two weeks after Ziva’s original due date Tony finally called their extended family with nervous and worries edged in his voice to tell them that Ziva was in labor. And that she was getting close, when Jenny asked him how she was doing he broke down telling her with tears in his eyes that Ziva was exhausted. And that he wasn’t sure if she could do it; she was refusing to take the epidural the doctors had offered.

Jenny smiled at that statement, that was exactly what she had expected would happen. This was Ziva they where talking about.

Jenny told him that she had seen Ziva bite through her own pain to safe other people, meaning herself, with incredible strength. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that Ziva would be able to have that baby without an epidural if that was what she wanted. She told Tony to go back to Ziva to be at her side and help her wherever he could and that she would call the others.

He nodded and then realized that Jenny would not be able to see it. He quickly agreed and disconnected the call. He went back to the room where Ziva was at the exact same moment one of the nurses told that she was going to get the doctor.

Chapter 9

Gibbs stared at the boat in front of him, it was almost finished. But his mind was not on finishing his boat, his mind was actually wandering off to his team members. He hated seeing them this far apart, fighting over every little unimportant detail. Instead of McGee being in Abby’s lab now a lot of the time either Tony or Ziva would retreat there. Even to the point where Abby had begged Gibbs to keep them away because she couldn’t do her job. It was against his own rules of not dating a co-worker, he had made that mistake himself once or twice but he wanted them to be happy.

If only they weren’t so goddamn stubborn, he thought while he looked down at the dark liquid in his glass. In one swig he drank the contents before he got up and started working the wood again.

“DiNozzo, get down to the lab. Abby has something she needs to show you, if you are fast enough you can catch the elevator before the doors close.” Gibbs challenged Tony, before he turned towards McGee and gave him distinctive orders. He knew Tony would react to a challenge; he was always trying to show Gibbs how good he was at a particular task especially when he thought that Gibbs requested it. And sometimes Gibbs used that to his advantage, and that was clearly the reasoning for his strange request this time.

Tony rushed to get into the elevator but once he was inside he regretted that he didn’t take the stairs. He hadn’t seen Ziva get into the elevator and now that the doors where closed behind him she was standing in front of him, staring at him. Her arms crossed in front of her belly in a protecting and at the same time defensive manor, giving him a look that only Ziva could manage.

Gibbs had seen Ziva go into the elevator, and when Tony stepped around corner next to the flight of stairs he had told him that Abby wanted to see him. At the same time he had instructed Tim to hack into the electrical system of the NCIS headquarters and made him stop the elevator from the outside.

“Ehm Boss, Ziva is in there…” He nervously pouted his mouth as he looked up at Gibbs.

“Don’t you think I know that, McGee?” Gibbs mumbled. “They need to talk. And you better tell me that the elevator stopped somewhere between this floor and Abby’s lab.” Gibbs huffed as he turned towards Tim.

“I eh … it did. It did.” Tim mumbled, repeating the last words with more force. “But Boss, they could kill each other.” Tim added with a pained expression, as he waited for Gibbs’ hand to connect with the back of his head.

“McGee, I am sure they won’t. Someone might get hurt but they won’t kill each other. They will probably trample some more on each others ego’s but I am sure there won’t be any killing.” He said as he downed the last of his coffee. “They would have done so already, if that was what they wanted. They might blame each other for what is going on and they might not agree with what the other person has to say, McGee. But let me tell, you they will again one day.”

McGee frowned at Gibbs’ words but he said nothing. He just wondered why Gibbs was so eager to bring Ziva and Tony together even after all the times that he had mentioned rule # 12.

Gibbs stood there watching the elevator, so far nothing strange had occurred. And he hoped that Ziva and Tony would really be able to work out their differences. He had seen it all along, Tony loved Ziva, really loved her. Sure he hadn’t really changed he still went out with one woman after another, but Gibbs for the most part thought that it had a lot to do with the department’s rules and most of all maybe because of his own rules. He was sure that if Ziva and Tony had met under different circumstances that they wouldn’t have the strength nor the forbearance to stay apart for this long.

And Ziva’s looks across the bullpen reminded him of the way Jenny used to look at him all those years ago, and he sometimes still caught her looking at him like that. He didn’t want them to make the same mistake he made all those years ago. He felt that someone was watching him and as he looked up towards Jen’s office he saw her standing behind the banister watching him and the elevator closely. She smiled at him before she turned around and disappeared into her office.

The elevator came to a halt, the lights flickered and went off. Seconds later the emergency lights switched on setting the elevator in an eerie yellow-greenish light.

Ziva flicked the switch for the tenth time since the elevator came to a halt. She smashed her hand against the other buttons. Tears stung in her eyes, she hated the emotional state she was in. And the last place she wanted to be was in an elevator with Tony. She knew that he was watching her every move.

She hit the button panel again, with more force this time releasing some of the anger that she felt brewing inside her. At that moment she felt Tony close in on her he wrapped his arms around her from behind, stopping her before she could smash the panel again.

“The power must have been cut off or something, but what you are doing right now won’t help. It might make matters worse.” He said, his voice calm.

His calmness irritated her, lately everything about him irritated her.

“What did you do?” Ziva snapped as she broke free from his grasp, she looked up at Tony, visibly annoyed by the fact that the elevator stopped and that he was with her.

“Me?” Tony exclaimed; “I didn’t do anything, Zee-vah.”

“Of course you did nothing, you are never to blame.” Ziva added sarcastically with rolling eyes.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Tony asked visibly annoyed as he raised his voice.

“Tony, did you think that this was my grand plan.” She exclaimed in a very un-Ziva like fashion. “I have a job here, a green card I do not need to scam someone into a marriage. Besides that it would be easier to threaten someone into marrying me then to get knocked up and hope that the father has enough chivalry in him to marry me.” She sighed frustrated. “Especially when you are the father.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you do not strike me as the marrying kind, you like sex but do not do relationships that is a big give away. Now someone like McGee is the kind of man who would do the honorable thing.” She knew that her words hurt him, but she was hurting too.

“Do not compare me to McGee, I …” But he stopped himself before he would say something which her would regret for the rest of his life.

It was obvious that emotions where running high. Much higher then he had ever seen in Ziva. She usually didn’t show what she felt, but now he could see it clearly in her eyes and in her gestures. He swallowed hard, even though his feelings where conflicted he wanted to step into her personal space and wrap his arms around her. Promise her that everything would be alright, that he would be there for her- support her. But how could he possibly tell her that if he was afraid that she would kill him if he came too close. In her eyes next to the emotions he could see anger as well and right now he wasn’t sure that the anger was projected towards him or the situation that they found themselves in.

“Why can’t you just believe me when I say that I am sorry?” Tony asked Ziva, he watched her his sorrows showing in his eyes. Ziva was carrying his baby and they where fighting all the time, everything he did or didn’t do seemed to annoy Ziva. They where in an elevator merely a metre apart and yet they couldn’t have been more apart emotionally.

Chapter 8

It had been a month since Tony found out about her pregnancy and him becoming a father whether he liked it or not. Nothing had changed though, they where still avoiding each other as much as they could. She kept her brave face up at work, but in the confinements of her apartment she let the tears escape. Tears because Tony hadn’t even informed how she was doing. He knew that she had a doctor’s appointment two days ago. She left work early so there was no way that he could have missed where she went. But he never asked how she or the baby were doing. Ziva figured that he didn’t care and piece by piece she was shutting her feelings down.

She watched him, every now and then she glanced at him. But to be honest she had no idea how to talk to Tony anymore. Lately even work related information was told to one another with an angry voice or usually through McGee. Gibbs had kept them apart as much as he could, she knew that. But there was only so much he could do to keep his team together.

She had been working on her paperwork for hours when she got up, for yet another trip to the bath room when a sharp pain shot through her stomach. She steadied herself against her desk her other hand instantly went to her abdomen. She winced and gently let out a breath that she seemingly held. Tony noticed that something was wrong and he was instantly at her side.

Ziva pushed him away though and sat back down; “Do not touch me.” She hissed between her clenched teeth.

McGee who was sitting behind his desk had seen it all happening in front of his eyes. He was so sick and tired of their fights and was really not looking forward to being around for yet another pissing match. But if something was wrong with Ziva, and something happened to the baby not only Gibbs would kick his ass for leaving Tony and Ziva alone, he would never forgive himself. McGee surprised everyone by his reaction when he got up. And positioned himself between Ziva and Tony. “Tony, please go somewhere else for a little while. I’ll make sure that Ziva is alright.”

He told him before he turned to Ziva. Tony was too stunned to even make a proper comment; “Probie, that’s my … that’s my …” He didn’t know how to end the sentence and with a irritated huff he turned around and stalked towards the elevator.

“You okay, Ziva?” McGee asked her.

“I just had a sharp shooting pain. It has subsided now, it is probably nothing.” Ziva replied numbly.

“Probably nothing is not good enough when you are talking about pain during the first trimester of a pregnancy.” Gibbs answered as he walked past Ziva and McGee on his way to his own desk. “Go on, call your doctor. Talk to him or her and make sure that it is nothing.” He coached her as he sat down. McGee nodded, implying that he agreed with Gibbs, and of course he was right. She grabbed her cellphone from her desk and left the bullpen. She retreated into one of the interrogation rooms to make the call.

The elevator doors opened to the basement level where Abby’s lab was situated. Abby jumped up when the sliding doors opened but stopped dead in her tracks when she noticed the look on Tony’s face. It was anger, but she could also see concern in his eyes.

” Ziva?” She asked knowing that the answer would probably confirm what she already thought was the case.

“Yes, Ziva.” He huffed; “She got up, and instantly pushed a hand against her abdomen. It was obvious that she was in pain, but when I wanted to help her she pushed me away and told me to not touch her. McGee on the other hand was welcome to help her.” The anger was now more evident then the concern.

Abby wanted to know what was going on with her friend but she figured that McGee could handle it and by now Gibbs should be back in the bullpen as well. She knew that Ziva was in capable hands so she focused on Tony; “Tony, you know I love you. But are you really surprised by that reaction from Ziva?”

Tony didn’t reply, he knew that she was right even though he wouldn’t admit it. “Tony, let’s face it. She tells you that she is pregnant, somehow that revelation ends in a fight. Even though you both love each other, everyone can see it. You both continue the whole glaring match and if you do have to talk it is either with as little words as possible or it is just to put the other person down.”

Abby waited for a couple of seconds to let what she said sink in; “You know she had a doctor’s appointment, but instead of asking her how she is doing and show an interest in the baby. You ask me to tell you what she told me, and you tell me also not to tell her that you asked me to tell you what she told me.” Abby rambled.

“Dammit Tony, this is hinky! You two are so stubborn, why can’t you two just have mind blowing make up sex and get over it! At least this time you don’t have to worry about knocking her up. Seriously you two are so stubborn the poor kid is already doomed before he or she is even born.” Abby said with a smug smile. “And don’t deny it, I know that the sex was good.”

Tony groaned; “Not you too!”

“Of course, I have seen the tape of the undercover op. I needed to know what the buzz was about. I could make you a copy, so you can watch it at home. Maybe that will inspire you to fight for Ziva and your baby instead of fight with her!” Abby couldn’t keep the pleasure hidden when she saw Tony’s face color a dark shade of red. “Tony! You’re blushing because I saw the video! I thought you and ‘Big-D’ had a reputation to protect.

Ziva returned to the bullpen and sat down in her chair. Both Gibbs as well as McGee looked up at her questionably. Ziva sat down on her chair; “I made the call, it is all part of the joys of pregnancy.” She stated simply; “According to my doctor it is round ligament pain, nothing to worry about. Just another joy of pregnancy.” She explained and shifted in her chair, when she heard a sigh of relief behind her. She turned around and saw Tony standing behind the cubical wall. He quickly retreated to the safety of his desk, across from her without saying another word. Abby on her turn jumped around the cubical wall and embraced Ziva, glad that everything was okay with her friend.

Abby talked to everyone who wanted to hear it and even to those who where not in the mood for her happy banter until Gibbs asked her if she had finished the tests that he had asked her to do. Without an answer but with her right hand raised in front of her head in a gesture, she retreated quickly to her lab.

The doctor had told her to take it easy, but he didn’t tell her to stop working. Not yet at least, she had promised that she would take it easy. He had also told her to avoid stress, she sighed avoiding stress was something that wouldn’t be able to do. Not now, not with the way the situation between Tony and her was.

That night Tony found himself at a bar, drinking away his sorrows about the situation with Ziva. She was having his baby in a couple of months time, and right now he wasn’t even sure that he would ever be able to see that child. To hold it, make sure that it was safe and provided for.

Ziva was stubborn as was he, he knew that. He also knew that the fact that they where both stubborn was really the thing that kept them apart. Over the past couple of weeks he had been thinking about their weekend as a married couple when they had posed as Jean-Paul Ranier and Sophie Ranier. He remembered how good it had felt to wake up next to her, even with the annoyingly loud snoring on her part and to just revel in the bright morning sun and allowing himself to believe for a second that it was real.

He gestured to the waitress to get a refill as his mind drifted off his past. His mother, even though he loved her had never been the sanest person, he remembered how she used to dress him up in a sailor suit till he was ten years old. Or the time that she drank his sea monkey’s confusing them for her alcoholic beverage. He chuckled softly as he picked up his own choice of poison, in one swig he downed the burning substance and indicated to the waitress that he needed a refill.

“You sure about that, sir?” She asked him with a frown on her face.

He stared at her, in his best ‘Gibbs’ stare and she refilled his glass without another word. His thoughts drifted towards his father, the man who was hardly ever around and if he was he would be drunk and abusive. Or he had just found another woman to marry and he would be acting like a real gentle man, manners which would fade to the background once he had courted them.

He had always said that he would be different then his father. And that he would only want to raise children in a strong family situation. His child was not even born and all he or she had heard him and Ziva do was fight. He huffed, he surely was a pouting up a good example. No matter how much alcohol he had consumed at that point right then and there he decided that he would make amends with Ziva. Even if that meant that he had to take the blame for everything.

Chapter 7

Monday morning came too soon for Ziva’s liking. She really wasn’t ready to face Tony, she had no idea how to act towards Tony or how he would react to her. And she knew that it could shift the interaction in the whole team. Now even more then before, she wished that she had left.

Ziva sighed and prepared herself for a day of work, she needed to talk to Jenny. Rather sooner then later, she knew that it would not be long before she wouldn’t be able to hide it any longer. At the same moment she wondered if she should really inform Jenny right now, what if Tony and her where not able to work around this. She would not stay if that was the case. She couldn’t, it would hurt too much to see that look of rejection on his face each time she saw him. She wanted to be happy one way or another and if that meant that she stood alone in her decision to keep the baby. She knew that she could make it.

She entered the area in front of Jenny’s office and asked Cynthia if the Director was available. “Does she have an appointment later on?”

“No, her day planner is free, do you need to speak to her, officer David?” Cynthia asked picking up the phone on her desk.

“Yes, but you do not need to call her. I will ask her if she has time to see me now.” She said as she quickly moved towards the door of Jenny’s office. Gibbs had reassured her that it would be okay, but right now Ziva was not feeling too optimistic. She had also thought that Tony would take the news better then he had. She breathed in deeply and knocked on the door. She waited till she heard Jenny tell her to come in before she opened the door.

“Jenny, I was wondering if you have some time. I need to talk to you about something.” Ziva asked when she opened the door.

“Sure Ziva, I was wondering when you where going to show up at my door.” Jenny stated, before she turned towards Ziva from her position in front of the window. To be honest she had been expecting Ziva to come to her since she had that talk with Gibbs.

“Me, why is that?” Ziva asked suddenly even more nervous then she felt before.

“I don’t know, you tell me Ziva. I have been worried about you.” Jenny said gesturing Ziva to sit down across from her at the desk.

“Well there is something that you need to know.” She breathed in deeply before she continued speaking; “I ehm … I am pregnant, Jen.”

Jenny Shepards’ head snapped up, she watched Ziva closely. “There where a lot of things I had expected to hear right now. But this was not one of them. I am happy for you, congratulations.” Jenny said warmly while she observed Ziva closely. She seemed really nervous, she was fidgeting with her hands. Not something that Ziva often did, she was usually in total control of her emotions. Jenny wondered if Ziva reflected it as something good.

“It’s Tony’s…” Ziva added as her voice gave out due to the conflicted emotions that where connected to that confession. For Jenny, it put some developments in Gibbs’ team into perspective that she had seen over the last couple of weeks.

“Tony! I knew it.” Jenny, usually she was the Director of NCIS when it came to these kind of things, but this was Ziva. And Ziva was not just a special agent on one of the teams. She was on Gibbs’ team. And for some reason, there was a special connection with everyone on that team. This was her friend, and being a Director towards a friend was always difficult. Especially when it came to this, she had always known that it was only a matter of time before something would happen. She got up and around the table, she hugged Ziva and quickly wanted to get to the door to call tell Cynthia to call Tony up to her office. She wanted to congratulate him as well, but maybe more importantly she needed to set some rules.

Ziva hugged Jenny and thanked her, she had dreaded this conversation with Jenny. She knew that Jenny had to be the Director, but she also considered Jenny a personal friend. But when Jenny made her way towards the door she stopped her. “I didn’t even know you two where in a relationship.” Jenny said with a smile when Ziva interrupted her.

“We are not.” She stated, Jenny turned around when she acknowledged the pain which was so evident in Ziva’s voice. “Right now we are not even talking…” Tears welled in her eyes, she quickly blinked hoping to stop them from falling.

Jenny placed her arm around Ziva’s shoulders and guided her towards her couch. She then opened the door and told Cynthia to hold all calls and visitors until further notice. Cynthia raised her brow but didn’t say a word. Jenny closed the door and sat down next to Ziva on the couch.

“Ziva, what happened?”

Ziva shrugged, she was silent for a while before she started talking. “There has always been tension between Tony and me, since the first time we met. Apart from some teasing, nothing ever happened.”

“Well something must have happened.” Jenny gently pushed her friend.

“The undercover op.” Ziva simply stated.

Jen nodded, she had always wondered about the acting talent of her agents. She hadn’t said it out loud but some of those tapes revealed scenes that where ‘Oscar’ worthy. But Ziva’s confession explained it all.

“It happened once.”

“Well Ziva, once is sometimes all it takes.” Jenny cringed when the words slipped out of her mouth, it was such a cliche.

“I do know that, but what I meant to say was that it is not a relationship. It was just sex, lust if you will.” Ziva replied. “Far from to be quite honest.” Ziva mumbled the last words.

“Is that what you believe, or is that what you are trying to make yourself believe?” Ziva’s head snapped up; “Ziva, I have seen the looks, the teasing. If it where not for Gibbs mentioning rule #12 at least once every week; and knowing him probably a lot more then that. You probably would not have been this patient. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”

Ziva watched Jenny as she spoke, Jenny could only describe the look on her face as guilty. “Are you mad?” Ziva asked like a little kid caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Mad?” Jenny asked surprised; “No, not at all. I am happy for you, that is if you are happy.” Jenny asked with a frown.

“Yes, yes I am. I just wished the situation was different.” Ziva sighed.

“Ziva, as your friend I would like to say that my door is always open and that you can ask me for help any time you need it. As your boss I have to say that this is against department rules. And if it causes problems between you and Tony that I have no choice but to send one of you to a different team.”

“I’ll resign…” Ziva interrupted Jenny; “I was planning on doing that, Gibbs told me not to do it. At least not till I figured out how to do this. Without this liaison position at NCIS I have to leave the US, Mossad is not an option. Gibbs is right, I do not have a plan… I never had, not for this.”

Jenny placed her hand on Ziva’s leg. “Ziva listen to me, what’s done is done. I really hope that you and Tony will be able to patch things up, give it some time. For the time being no is resigning nor transferring.”

Ziva smiled warmly at Jenny, she had expected that the conversation would have gone worse. “Thanks you.”

“Don’t mention it.” Jenny chuckled; “Have you had your first doctor’s appointment?”

“Yes, about three weeks ago to confirm the test results.”

“We’ll have to set up a schedule then, soon.” She was lost in thought for a couple of seconds. “How far along are you, if you have known for three weeks?”

“About nine weeks.”

“So I am going to be an aunty.” Jenny smiled at the thought; she would spoil the child rotten.

Ziva chuckled; “Yes, you will be. Good to know that someone is interested to be around in the future.”

“Of course I am, Ziva.” She smiled confidently; “And I am sure that Tony will be there for you and the baby as well. Give him some time.”

Chapter 5

A week went by and Ziva had still not been able to tell Tony that she was pregnant, it had been three weeks since she found out herself. Almost two months since it happened. Gibbs had somehow convinced her to stay. Though Ziva still expected that everything would blow up in her face sooner rather then later she did agree to the things that he had said. She needed stability and a future. But at the same time he had also told her that she needed to talk to Jenny Shepard. And though Ziva and Jenny shared a past together she wasn’t sure how strict Jenny would be when it came to department rules that where influenced by two team mates having a baby together.

Ziva closed her eyes, she tried to soothe herself by a breathing exercise. One that usually had a calming effect on her. The morning sickness had been bugging her all day, not to mention the tired feeling that had settled in her body. She usually had no problem with pulling an all nighter and still arrive at work refreshed. But lately it didn’t matter how much she slept, it never seemed to be enough.

She stared at the blank screen in front of her, she should have been typing up her report but instead she had been contemplating what she should say to Tony. It was at that exact moment that he got up from his chair and left for the men’s room. She got up as well and slipped into the men’s room behind him. She checked if the other stalls where empty and waited patiently for Tony to get out of the only locked stall.

He jumped when he got out of the stall and jumped when he noticed Ziva leaning against the wall next to the door. “What are you doing here, Zee-vah?” He asked curtly as he rinsed his hands in the sink.

“Nothing, I just wanted to ask you something.” Ziva said, trying to keep her nerves in check.

“What?” He asked curtly.

“What, what?” Ziva asked confused.

“You wanted to ask me a question, what is it?”

“Oh yes, I did, no, did I not. I wanted to ask you if you would like to come to my dinner party Saturday night.” Ziva smiled; “I’ll be cooking for some friends.”

Tony dried his hands, a small smile playing on his lips. This was the first time in a couple of weeks that Ziva had asked him a personal question. And the first time that she had invited him to one of her famous dinner parties. “Thank you for the invitation, I would love to come. So Zee-vah tell me who else are you going to invite?”

Ziva looked at him; “Just some friends. Eh … you do not know them.” She added quickly.

“Inviting any cute girls?” Tony asked in his typical Tony DiNozzo manner.

Ziva glared at him, before she turned and left the men’s room; “Seven, tomorrow my place.” She quickly closed the door and made her way down to Abby’s lab. Tony’s last words resounding in her head, teasing her, taunting her. The elevator doors slit open, the music from the lab blaring through the speakers when the glass doors opened. She stepped inside, she put up her bravest smile and said hello to Abby, the lab tech.

“Ziva!” Abby exclaimed as she got up and turned down the music. “Haven’t seen you down here in a while, I almost thought that they had send you back to Mossad. You should come down here more often. Even when I don’t have any results for you. You are free to come down any time, I am alone most of the day and it is nice to have someone to talk to you know.” Abby rambled, every words spoken so fast that Ziva had to listen carefully not to miss a question or an otherwise important part of information.

“You are right, it has been a while since I have been down here, yes.” Abby jumped around in the lab, pushing buttons on machine’s here and there before returning to her computer in the middle of the room. Abby’s quirky ways always made her smile, no matter how down she felt Abby would always cheer her up.

Tony knocked on the door at precisely seven, Ziva breathed in deeply before she opened the door. With a smile to the best of her abilities even though she was nervous as hell she greeted him and let him into her apartment. He was carrying a bottle of wine and a bouquet of roses.

He handed Ziva the bottle of wine and bouquet with a kiss on her cheek, and stepped inside. The first thing he did was look around in the apartment took in every little detail. Like most people did when they arrived at somewhere new, but Ziva knew this was different. These where the eyes of a trained investigator, one who used this opportunity to learn more about his team member.

“So Zee-vah, when are the others arriving?” He asked when he noticed that it was only the two of them.

“There are no others coming. I asked you to come here because I need to talk to you.” Ziva answered, a nervous feeling flaring up in her stomach. She busied herself with the flowers and placed them in a vase on the coffee table.

“What is it that you wanted to talk about?”

“Can we eat first.” Ziva stated more then she asked as she brought two plates to the kitchen table. She followed with two glasses of wine, she gestured to Tony to sit down. They talked about unimportant topics, Ziva was trying to avoid anything too personal. Tony got up and brought over the bottle of wine, he was about to refill her glass when she declined. He shrugged and filled his own glass. An hour and another refill of wine later they were done, Ziva told Tony to sit on the couch while she got the ice cream from the kitchen.

They ate the ice cream in another rather comfortable silence, Ziva wondered how long the comfortable feeling would last. She suspected that it would be over sooner rather than later.

He took the bowl from her hands and placed on the table. He sat back down on the couch leaning sideways so that he was able to watch her. “You said you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Ziva nodded; “Yes, there is something I should tell you.” She fell silent for what felt like an eternity though it could not be more then a few seconds. She always considered herself to be brave, but her braveness was nowhere to be found when it came to matters of the heart. “I am pregnant.” She blurted out, into the uneasy silence.

A look of shock crossed Tony’s face, it took a couple of seconds before her words sank in. “You are! When did this happen? I didn’t even know you where seeing someone.” Tony smiled, though his heart sank. “So who’s the baby’s lucky daddy?”

“It happened eight weeks ago, you are. Tony you are the baby’s father.” Ziva answered truthfully as calmly as she possibly could, but her nerves where running through her body. And she felt nauseated, probably due to her nerves and partly due to morning sickness.

“It can’t be.” Tony stated.

“Can not be?” Ziva repeated confused.

“No, Ziva it can’t be.”

“How can you be so sure Tony, are you sterile. Or are you telling me I am a slut who sleeps around with every man, so you can not be the father because there are many other possible fathers?” Ziva asked him calmly though it was obvious that she was angry by his unspoken assumptions.

“No, Ziva I am not saying that. You said that it was okay.” He told her realizing how stupid he must sound.

“Don’t worry about a thing Tony, I am not telling you this because I expect anything from you. I am telling you this because you have a right to know, yes?” Ziva said her arms crossed in front of her in an defensive manner. “It was my own stupid mistake that I forgot in the heat of the moment that my birth control might not be effective due to the stomach flu that I had two weeks prior to conception.”

Tony cringed at the use of the word ‘conception’ instead of sex or his personal preferred term ‘love making’. It made it all sounds so clinical, more like drawing blood for a DNA test then one moment of utter love for each other which resulted in a baby. Ziva saw the cringing and it sparked a new fire inside of her, she saw it as a rejection. She got up and stepped into the kitchen area.

“And then to think that I thought you were different.” She huffed before she turned towards the kitchen counter seemingly busy with the filthy plates. But trying to hide the tears that formed in her eyes; swallowing down the lump in her throat. Her heart ached; she had really believed that Tony was different. It was an accident, unplanned and it happened in the heat of the moment but that did not change the fact that she loved him.

“Ziva.” He spoke softly.

“Just leave. Leave.” She stated with more force. “If Gibbs only knew how wrong he was about you.” She said barely addible.

“Gibbs knows! Gibbs knows about this. He’ll kill me.”

“If Gibbs wanted to kill you for getting me pregnant he would have done so already. But I do not know what his reaction will be now.” Ziva called after him. Her words were filled with anger and pain. She didn’t want to use Gibbs as an example but the words left her mouth before she could think them trough.

“That’s just wonderful Zee-vah. Maybe you can ask him to be your baby’s daddy. I am pretty sure that he will do a much better job then I ever could.” He grabbed his coat and slammed the door behind him. Ziva made her way towards the door, touching the wood gently, she broke down in tears. She sat down on the floor sliding along the cold wooden door. Ziva sat there for a minute realizing what a mistake she made when she looked up and noticed the bottle of wine on the table. She grabbed her bag and pulled out her cell phone. She pushed a couple of buttons and waited for it to connect.

Chapter 4

Gibbs came back glad to see that Ziva finally left, he sat down in his chair and placed the Styrofoam coffee cup next to his keyboard. He wanted to grab the first folder on the stack when his eyes fell onto an envelope his name was written in Ziva’s distinctive handwriting. He ripped it open and unfolded the letter. His eyes flew over the words. It became obvious that it was an resignation letter.

He was up and out the door before anyone could say anything, he noticed that some people watched him leave with a strange looks on their faces. Minutes later his car left the Navy Yard with screeching tires as he rounded the corner. Merely twenty minutes later he arrived at Ziva’s apartment building. He made his way to her floor and found himself banging on her door at quarter past ten at night.

It took a while before he heard some movement in the apartment, it surprised him. He knew that Ziva was usually not asleep this early. He figured that she might have been in the shower even if it was just to comfort himself, finding reasons that everything was okay with Ziva. Even though her behavior from the past weeks and her resignation letter showed him that something obviously was wrong.

He knocked on the door again when he heard Ziva’s annoyed reply from the other side of the door. “Hold your dogs!” She exclaimed while she opened the door, once again messing up an American idiom.

“Gibbs?” She said with a sigh. She was dressed in a robe, obviously she had just woken up.

“What is this Ziva?” He asked as he help up the letter that he found on his desk.

“Well, if you read it you know that it is a resignation letter, yes.” Ziva answered.

“Don’t get smart with me. I know that, Officer David. But why?”

“Because I decided that I want to go back to Israel.” Ziva mumbled.

“Israel? Is that your choice or did Mossad call you back?”

“My own.” Ziva stated.

“So you want to tell me that from one day to the next you are suddenly homesick?” Gibbs shook his head in disbelief. He knew that something else was going on even if Ziva didn’t want to tell him. “Ziva, I know that you are not being honest with me. I have always treated you with respect. Your reasons for reassigning can be your own, but don’t lie to me.”

Ziva looked down at the floor, she couldn’t look him in the eyes. What he said was true, he might not have been happy when she first joined the team but that had more to do with the fact that they had just lost a team member. His team was a close knit ‘family’ and having someone replace one of your family instantaneously was difficult. Soon thereafter she had saved Gibbs by killing her own brother, who was a turned Mossad agent for Hamas and also responsible for Kate’s death. Over the course of the past year Gibbs had helped her more then her own father ever did. He had been there for her in her times of need, when she was accused of terrorism, he even came back from his retirement in Mexico to help her. And now she was lying to him, her secret wasn’t that bad she contemplated to tell him but before she could her stomach turned.

She ran over to the bathroom and emptied her stomach contents in the toilet. She took a few seconds to compose herself, she rinsed her mouth out before she returned to the living room. Gibbs was still standing in the middle of the room a pained expression on his face.

“Are you sick?” He stated more then he asked; “Is this why you are so determined to resign?”

“I am not sick.” Ziva stated, trying to recompose herself while she crossed her arms in front of her chest protectively.

“Pregnant then.” Gibbs stated.

“How do you know?” Ziva blurted out, surprised by his statement. Too surprised to deny what he said.

“Believe me Ziva, you are not the first woman around me who’s been pregnant.” Gibbs answered matter-of-factly, without giving her more details. She was stunned and not sure what she could possibly say to him. Gibbs watched her reactions, the different expressions that crossed her face in mere seconds. She pulled her robe closer around her body, as if she was covering the truth up.

“So what got you so spooked that it sent you running to the other side of the world?” Gibbs asked her bluntly. Ziva didn’t feel comfortable wearing her robe while her boss was standing opposite from her watching her closely. Trying, no doubt, to figure out what was going on with her.

“I need to get dressed, take a seat. I will be right back.” Ziva said before she turned and bee lined towards the back of the apartment, where a small hallway separated the bed room from the living room. She closed the bed room door behind her and leaned against it, she closed her eyes for a couple of seconds. Her hand placed against her belly, her secret was out. She should have known that Gibbs would find out.

She recomposed herself and grabbed a pair of slacks and a shirt before she returned to the living room. Gibbs watched her as she returned to the living room. Ziva offered him coffee and prepared it before she sat down across from Gibbs on the couch.

“Tell me Ziva, is this really the only solution?” Gibbs asked as she pulled her letter out of his pocket and laid it down on the table between them.

“Yes.” Ziva stated.

“Are you going back to Mossad?”

“No, that is out of the question.” Ziva answered softly. In her fathers eyes, it was just one more reason why she had failed her father. And he would never allow her to come back to Mossad and put shame on him, with her ‘bad’ choices.

“And you are resigning from NCIS? Why?” Gibbs asked wondering what Ziva’s plan was. He knew that her green card was granted because of her liaison position at NCIS and without it she would have to go back to Israel. But since Mossad according to herself was out of the question he wondered what she was going to do. Then he realized what had happened, he suspected that she was fleeing because she didn’t want to cause any trouble for anyone. Her recent behavior towards one of his team mates and the revelation about her pregnancy made it easy to put one and one together.

“I do not want to cause trouble.”

“Why would a pregnancy cause problems, lots of women choose to have children without resigning.” Gibbs stated, he decided to play along for a while. “There is maternity leave…”

“Yes Gibbs, that is true but my situation is not like lots of other women’s situations.” Ziva mumbled as she got up and retreated to the kitchen area. She returned with two cups with steaming contents, though he was surprised when he noticed that she had tea instead of coffee.

He smiled when he noticed it, at least she was adjusting to the situation. And taking care of herself and the baby, it brought back memories of his first wife when she was pregnant with his daughter. Though at the same time he couldn’t shake the unsettling feeling; “Ziva, you are planning on having this baby, right?” Gibbs asked still wondering why Ziva insisted on leaving, especially when she was giving up everything for the sake of this baby. And at the same time took away everything that would secure a safe future.

“Yes, of course I am.”

“Have you told him?”

“Told who?” Ziva asked startled by the direct question.

“DiNozzo. Does he know?” Gibbs asked again; “He is the father isn’t he.”

“He is not the father.” Ziva told him, trying to swallow the lump in the throat down as she lied to him once again. “What makes you think he is?”

“Ziva.” Gibbs’ eyes bore into her, his voice sounded strict. “The way that you have been going at him lately, with everything he said or done you nearly bit his head off. Besides that the comments you made on ‘him being to blame when you got sick at a crime scene’. Add to that the undercover op nearly two months ago and the rumors about the surveillance video made during the op. It gets pretty easy to add one and one up.”

Ziva’s face turned a dark shade of red. “Like I said I do not want to cause trouble.” She mumbled, knowing that somehow Gibbs figured out what was going on. “It is better if I leave, sooner rather than later.” She expected Gibbs to blow up at her but nothing like that happened. His voice was rather calm when he spoke the next words. He spoke like a father would, not like you expected from a boss who just found out that two of his team members had been doing everything the department and his own rules forbid.

“Ziva, he deserves to know.”

“If he knows it will cause problems, it is against department regulations to be involved with a team member. Not to mention your own set of rules.”

“That means the rumors are true.” Gibbs stated more then he asked Ziva.

“That depends to which rumors you are referring?” Ziva asked Gibbs softly. “If you mean that Tony and I are in a relationship then the answer is no. We made a mistake, it went too far and now I am paying the price. He does not need to be dragged down by my mistakes, yes?” She said as she looked up.

“Ziva, you aren’t thinking rationally about this. Tony is not a bad man, he would do anything for you.” Gibbs stated hardly believing that he was trying to convince one of his agents that a different team member loved her. But then again he had seen the looks on both of their faces when they thought that no one was looking. And since the beginning he had suspected that something like this would happen. Well not the pregnancy, but that they would at least be more then just team mates. “Give him a chance Ziva, he deserves to know.”

Gibbs got up, placed the letter on the coffee table. “I’m not accepting this, not like this. You better be on time tomorrow.” He said as he took a look at his watch. It was late, almost two in the morning. Nevertheless Ziva nodded, she got up and let him out of the apartment. He turned before she closed the door behind him; “And Ziva, congratulations.” He smiled at her before he turned and made his way down the hallway. She locked the door and went back into the bedroom, to get some much needed sleep.

Gibbs smiled when he entered the office the next morning and found Ziva behind her desk. Ziva rubbed her eyes when he said good morning and looked up at him with a smile, a weak smile but a smile nevertheless. He smiled back knowingly, before he sat down at his own desk.

Tony barged into to bullpen just minutes later, he greeted everyone curtly before he dropped down in his chair and started his computer up. He didn’t speak much, no one did in particular they where all working on their administration. Occasionally one of them left, either to go to Abby or Ducky or to get some coffee. Gibbs noticed that Ziva, after the first coffee made the next cup of coffee disappear when Tony who brought it for her wasn’t paying attention.

Gibbs just hoped that she would tell Tony soon, he should be able to share these tiny moments with Ziva instead of sending dead glares across the bullpen because he had no idea why she was snapping at him.

Chapter 3

Ziva sat down in the darkened room, it had been a hard week and she needed to figure out her next step. Her head was pounding with headache, caused by sleep deprivation. She didn’t know how to handle the situation at hand. She knew that it was against the rules of the department to have a relationship with someone in the department. And she also knew that she broke rule number 12 and Gibbs had always been very clear about his rules, especially this particular one. On the other hand was her father, a religious man. Though he knew that his daughter wasn’t a virgin, after all she had used sex to get close to targets of Mossad. But he wouldn’t approve of this, he would probably force her to get rid of the baby, just so she wouldn’t put shame on the family, or what was left of her family for having a baby out of wedlock.

And then there was Tony, she knew that he was probably the kind of man who would do what was right. But she would probably always doubt his intentions. She knew that she loved him, but so far except for that one night he hadn’t really seemed all that interested in her.

She could of course leave NCIS and just say that she was homesick or something like that. Claim that Mossad called her back to Israel, but then Jen would know that something else was going on because it had been more that obvious that she didn’t want to go back home. In fact she was glad that she found a ‘legal’ way to leave Mossad. As a liaison officer she was still ‘working’ for Mossad without actually being there. Besides that she could not return to Mossad in her current condition. Her father would not allow her to come back, unmarried and with a baby on the way from an American man. Her father didn’t make arrangements for her to marry someone which she was grateful for but that had probably more with the fact that he always saw her as his Mossad officer. He never saw her as his daughter or as the woman she was, only as a apprentice, she was the one who had to keep the family honor high especially after what Ari did. Her father might be less strict when it came to religion but she knew that he would not take this news easy either way.

Tony slumped down on his couch, he stared at the blank television screen. He sighed and though about the first time he had laid eyes on Ziva David. He had been taken aback by her stunning appearance. Though she seemed completely taken out of her comfort zone in her baggy beige pants and matching shoes and the lilac scarf wrapped around her head revealing her beautiful black curls – at the same time she had managed to look as if she owned the place.

While he sat there stumbling over every word when she caught him ‘remembering’ his former partner, Kate. He grinned at the memory, too bad Kate never actually wore that schoolgirl outfit. When he realized what he was thinking he stopped himself dead in his tracks. He should not be thinking about Kate, he should be focused on more important things, Ziva. He should be contemplating how he could make things right again.

He sighed, leaned his head back against the couch and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how he could possibly make things right again. At the same time he wasn’t sure that he knew what he did wrong to begin with. The only guide that something was wrong was the fact that the comments she made sounded harsh to him, not teasingly like they used too. Besides that on more then one occasion she had said something along the lines of blaming him, though he wasn’t sure what she meant by that. And when he asked her about it she had come up with a lame excuse or she snapped at him.

He didn’t know what to do a couple of weeks ago he thought that he had a fighting chance with Ziva when they where undercover. They had been faking having sex so many times that eventually they teased each other into doing it for real. Tony couldn’t hide the fact that he was turned on as he positioned himself on top of her for another round of ‘fake’ sex. And he had been terrified when Ziva found out what was going on, he was sure that he would loose ‘Big D’.

But the opposite had happened, Ziva noticed what was going on and reached her hand down. He breathed heavily, apologizing softly to her. She smirked deviously at him while her hand touched his member. He braced himself for the pain which he expected to follow. But her touches where gentle. And before he knew it they where actually doing what he thought about so many times before. He was pleased to noticed that he was not the only person who was turned on when he touched Ziva’s center.

That was the one and only time something happened between them, other then that one time they seemed to avoid each other. But now that it happened he couldn’t forget what happened it was always playing in the back of his mind. They had never spoken about what happened between them. When the undercover op ended things went back to normal. No, actually things didn’t go back to normal, for a couple of weeks they did but now Ziva seemed to constantly be in a foul mood. Always mad at him for some reason.

He sighed, he knew that he wouldn’t be able to find out what was bugging her if she kept avoiding him or snapping at him. For a second he contemplated calling her asking her to go out to dinner with him. Maybe she was just mad because he didn’t act on his feelings. But he didn’t want to jeopardize his own or her job, so he discarded the idea of calling her and hoped that her foul mood would get better soon.

Even though it was a very arousing thought that all of their team members and more had actually seen the first time they had sex together without knowing what they had actually seen. He knew his face turned a dark shade of red when just by thinking about it.

Ziva ended the letter and reread what she had written. When she finished she put it in a envelop and dropped it into her bag. She went to bed, not even bothering undressing and pulled the covers on top of her. She fell into a fitful sleep filled with images of herself and Tony. She finally woke up from her dreams that seemed all to real and for a second she thought that she could feel Tony’s hands on her body and his distinctive smell lingered in the room. Tears stung in her eyes when she realized that it wasn’t real, once again it was her mind that was playing tricks on her. Showing her how good it could be.

Ziva had occupied herself with writing reports, visiting both Ducky and Abby, who had left hours ago by now. She left for a while to get some food and came back again; still she found Gibbs at his desk and she wondered if he actually went home at night. She avoided the questioning look on his face when she made her way up the flight of stairs and entered Jenny’s office. They talked for a while like friends do, though she declined the offer of a cold glass of bourbon, which Jenny offered to her. She mumbled something about driving home in her car. Jenny smiled knowingly and said that it had it’s perks to be an NCIS Director, which gave her driver whenever she requested on. Ziva smiled and got up to leave.

When she walked down the stairs she looked around to see if she could spot Gibbs anywhere, when she couldn’t she figured that he was out to get more coffee. She grabbed her coat and bag, she retrieved the letter she had written last night and placed it on Gibbs desk. She hoped that he would find it the next morning at least then it would give her a couple of hours to come up with a reason which would satisfy him though she knew that would be nearly impossible.