Title: Breakdown
Author: nepeace
Fandom: McLeod’s Daughters
Characters: Alex Ryan, Claire McLeod, Tess Silvermann McLeod
Rating: PG
Breakdown
The events of the past few days kept replaying through my mind. I couldn’t stop it, it was like a movie on a loop, never ending.
I remember the days when Claire found out that she was pregnant; she was scared to death that she wouldn’t be there to see her child grow up. We all convinced her that she would be, that her mother’s faith wasn’t hers. The second she laid eyes on Charlotte, she instantly became her number one priority. Claire would do everything to make sure that Charlotte was safe.
These past weeks I had feared the same thing, ever since I found that lump in my breast. I thought that my life was over; I thought that I would never be able to see my niece grow up. That I would never be able to do all those things that I wanted to do. I thought that I had no future. That was why I wrote that letter to Charlotte to explain to her who I was, because I wanted her to know me even though she probably wouldn’t be able to remember me. These past few days I had been saying my goodbye’s in secret. Even though I knew that having breast cancer wouldn’t mean that I would die instantly.
Claire was so mad at me when she found that letter in Charlotte’s drawer; she thought that I was giving up. I wasn’t really giving up; but I wanted to make sure that I was ready if the results would be negative. I knew what a hard time we had ahead of us if the results didn’t bear any good news. I had seen it with my mom; and that was something I hoped I never had to go through again.
But that wasn’t what life had in store for us. I am still here; while you are gone. You had everything going for you while I lost everything in a matter of weeks. Charlotte changed your life for the better and so did Alex. Alex your best friend; and now your lover he was ready to settle down with you. I broke down when I was sitting in your room with Charlotte in my lap. I looked at your bed and there as the ring that Alex wanted to give to you.
When we drove back home we where both so happy, for a moment everything felt right. But then that white horse appeared again; I knew that it meant something bad. At first I thought that the white horse was there for me; telling me that my life was over. I never would have guessed that it was Claire’s he came for.
She must have known when we where at the edge of that cliff that her time had come. She was so calm telling me what to do, and how to do it. So that Charlotte and I where saved; she must have known that there was no way that she would get out alive. I begged and I cried; until she stopped me telling me that there was no use she told me that she loved me. Right before …
It all seems so unreal, so unfair. You had everything, while I was saying my ‘goodbye’s’. I am here and you are gone …
Title: Walk away
Author: nepeace
Fandom: McLeod’s Daughters
Pairing: Stevie Hall
Rating: PG
Walk away
Not another question
Should you stay or should you go
Well if you don’t have the answer
Why you’re still standing here
Just walk away
I have no place to go; and all of my belongings fit in the back of a ute. All of my money was in that bag; my future. I have no idea what to do; why did he leave me like that! And take my money with him, he knows how important that money is and what I wanted to do with it. All I wanted was to find a place to live for Rose and me; and if Kane wanted to be part of that he could. I really wanted him to be a part of my future; I really love him. Now he’s gone and my future is once again blown to pieces.
Why was I so stupid to leave the money with him; it didn’t feel right when I left it with him but I wanted to trust him so badly. I wanted to know if I could trust him; well now I know he treats me just like he treats the people that he steals from. “Dammit Hall, how stupid can you be! You gotta get your act together!” I grumble to myself as I look out over the paddocks that belong to Drovers Run; one of the few places that I actually call home. Tess and I weren’t always good friends but we got to know each other and I know that I can count on her. But is that enough to go back to her once again and ask if I can have my job back or should I just move on? Until now I have always taken the easy way out; I leave when a situation gets to hard to deal with. But now that doesn’t really feel like an option. So what should I do? Leave this place behind and find some new place to try and build up my life once again or stay?
At that moment I hear a horse approach me from behind; one quick glance over my shoulder tells me that it is Alex. Even though he tried to stop me and told me that Kane was no good he has still been here for me. He’s a real mate looking out for me. Is this my sign; does this mean that I should stay?
We talk for a little while before he says goodbye and leaves me alone again. I’ve made up my mind; I’m going back to the one place that I can call home, Drovers run. Well I could at least stay for the night and leave tomorrow if they want me to leave; but somehow I doubt that ‘that’ is what they want.
