Title: What’s another day
Author: nepeace
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Gil Grissom/Sara Sidle, Catherine Willows and Sara Sidle
Rating: PG-13
You gave this way more thought then it deserved.
You say as I tell you about my fear of rejection.
I wouldn’t know better then to get scared,
cause since we’ve met we’ve had this great connection.
Sara stared into the darkness; she could feel his strong manly arms around her in a protective manner. She would have never imagined that he could have been like this. She always thought that he would be unable to be close to anyone evolved in a real relationship with someone. But apparently he was could be a caring person he was able to love someone. She felt his body pressing against hers; his breath on her naked shoulders. She leaned closer into his body before she slowly drifted off to sleep thinking about the conversation they had earlier that evening about that and saying goodbye’s.
She woke up by a hand running up and down her naked thigh; lips pressing kisses on her shoulder. She smiled before she turned around in his arms and kissed him on his lips. She looked up into his blue eyes for a couple of seconds before she turned away from him and got up before walking into the bathroom. She picked her robe up from the floor and swung it over her shoulders; covering her naked body for his eyes. She new that he was watching her she could feel his eyes on her body but she wasn’t able to give him what he wanted. There was only one person she could think about and that person was not in that bed behind her. She sighed as she looked up in the mirror above the sink. Her skin looked pale; her eyes sad.
Minutes later she was surprised that Grissom hadn’t come into the bathroom and join her in the shower she got dressed quickly. When she came back into the bedroom; she noticed that he wasn’t in the bed nor was he in the room. She heard sounds coming from the kitchen. He was making breakfast. She stepped up to Grissom wrapping her arms around his body; she planted a kiss on his spine right between his shoulder blades. The muscles of his back where tense, too tense. He turned around and looked at her surprised, she looked up at him but before she could comment on it he turned back to the stove and prepared the rest of the meal. Sara made some coffee and set the mugs down on the table. Grissom soon followed with two dinner plates, with scrambled eggs and toast.
***
Just outside the CSI labs both Sara and Grissom parked their cars; there colleagues still didn’t know that they where dating. Both had decided that it would be in their best interest if they kept their relationship hidden at this moment; because of the whole supervisor aspect of their relationship. Grissom got out of his car and quickly disappeared from the view between the two SUV’s before Sara got out. She stepped in between the two cars as well and for a couple of seconds they where able to kiss each other before they had to walk into the building and act as if nothing was going on between them.
Grissom put his hand on Sara’s back and pulled her close leaning in to kiss her. At that exact moment a car passed; the same kind of car that one of their colleagues would drive. Sara quickly released her hold on Grissom and looked at him with fear in her eyes. She opened the back door and grabbed her kit before she headed for the entry door of the labs. Grissom looked defeated; the fearful look in Sara’s eyes was too much for him.
Sara had seen Catherine in the parking lot and knew that it must have been her that passed the cars; it had her and by the hurt look that Catherine sends her when she entered the break room she knew that Catherine had seen what was going on between the cars. The hurt look in Catherine’s eyes touched Sara in her core. She never meant to hurt anyone especially not Catherine. As soon as their eyes crossed they both diverted their eyes; not showing the other person what was so evident.
Not being able to connect with Catherine had always hurt Sara, now more then ever. She hoped that Grissom would hand out assignments soon so she could avert her thoughts to something other then Grissom or Catherine; but that would only work if she wouldn’t have to work with either of them. She had to figure out a way to clean up the mess that she had put herself in. She always thought that she loved Grissom but when they where finally in a relationship the love, if it ever had been there had died down pretty quickly.
Grissom entered the break room and handed out assignments, within a couple of minutes everyone was on their way. Luckily for Sara, Grissom teamed her up with Greg.
***
“Sara, we have to talk.” Grissom said quietly, looking at the woman he loved with all his heart. He knew that she loves him; he also knew that there was someone else she loved. She had been right a couple of years back when she said that if he waited to long he might be too late. He had seen Sara’s glances when she thought no one was watching and he had also noticed someone else’s interest in Sara. He had seen the hurt looks that Catherine had sent him when she found out that Grissom and Sara where dating. He had always known that Catherine was interested in Sara; he just never would have imagined that Sara would have the same feelings. He had also always known that Catherine’s hostility towards Sara was just an act to protect her heart. Catherine didn’t want to be too close to Sara if she couldn’t have Sara as a lover. Grissom knew that Sara wouldn’t make the choice if he didn’t force her to make it.
“Now?” Sara asked surprised as she looked up from a piece of evidence. She was surprised that he even asked her to talk. He had never been much of a talker unless it was about bugs or work and even then he didn’t say much. “Okay, when we get to your place we’ll talk.” Sara added softly in case anyone was overhearing there conversation.
“No, not now. After work, we really need to talk.” Grissom said as he tried to look as casual as he could; without sadness or pain in his eyes.
***
Sara parked her car in the driveway; she wondered why Grissom had sounded so serious when he told her that he had to talk to her. She sighed and opened the door; the living room was silent, too silent. Grissom’s car was outside, she knew that he was here. The light next to the couch clicked on bathing the room in light; it scared Sara. She sat down in the chair across from Grissom, it reminded her of the time when he was at her apartment after another fight with Catherine when she had finally opened up and told him about her family, her past. She felt really uncomfortable but she knew that this wasn’t something that she could avoid.
“Sara, you know how much I love you, right?” Grissom asked not really expecting an answer. He saw the fear in her eyes; he knew that she was aware of what was going on. “Sara, I love you but I also see that this isn’t working, you are distancing yourself from me. It hurts me to see that you are pulling away from me. Sara this isn’t good, not for you and neither is it for me.” Grissom sighed as he took one of Sara’s hands in his, a gesture he had used so often in the past years to comfort her. “I want you to follow your heart and I know that your heart doesn’t lie with me.” He swallowed away the lump in his throat; and hung his head not able to look at Sara.
“No, Grissom please I love you!” She pleaded falling onto her knees in front of him trying to kiss him. He refused to open up to her; he refused to let her touch him. “Grissom, please …” She pleaded between sobs. She said on her knees for what seemed like an eternity it might have just been a couple of minutes.
“Yes Sara, you love me. I have never doubted that but I am not the only person you love. Follow your heart and you might be surprised.” He said remembering the hurt expression Catherine had sent him this afternoon. He quietly got up and disappeared into the bed room. Away from the woman he loved because he knew he would always be on the second place in her life.
“I’ll be handing in my resignation!” Sara screamed after Grissom in anger.
“I will not accept your resignation, Sara! Follow your heart; don’t take this the wrong way.” Grissom answered trying to keep his voice in check; trying to hide the pain and sadness.
She started sobbing again; she knew that she hadn’t been completely honest when it came to her commitment in this relationship but she never thought that he would show her the door. She got up gathered her belongings, slammed her house keys on the table and left. The door slammed shut behind her. She quickly got into her car trying to hide. She didn’t want Grissom to know just how much he hurt her; because that other person he was talking about was the one person that was the most unavailable, to her at least.
She cried bitter tears while she drove home. Her apartment building was dark, all of the lights where off only the necessary lights where on in the hallways and the stairs. Sara silently climbed the stairs, glad that she was almost home with every flight of stairs that she took. She rounded the corner to her front door and was surprised when she almost ran into another person. She excused herself without looking up, she wanted to avoid the woman in front of her and get inside her apartment. But the woman braced her by the shoulders to prevent the both of them from falling, which forced Sara to look up into the blue-est eyes she had ever seen. She recognised them; she had seen them a lot of times before but never this close before.
“Catherine?” Sara said not sure what to say. She quickly wiped her eyes with her sleeve. But she couldn’t hide the fact that she had been crying.
“Sara, are you okay, what is going on?” Catherine asked when she saw the puffy red eyes.
“Nothing, I am fine!” Sara said, while she once again tried to pass Catherine. But Catherine wouldn’t let her; it hurt her too much to see Sara like this. “Sara, give me the keys to your apartment.” Catherine demanded in a tone of voice she usually only used on her daughter. Sara handed her the keys, Catherine fumbled with them until she found the right one; and opened the door that Sara had pointed to. Catherine was surprised when she opened the door, she let Sara into a nicely decorated apartment.
They sat down on the couch after Catherine closed the door behind her. Catherine spoke softly to Sara who was at this point unable to stop the tears. She didn’t want Catherine to see her like this but she wasn’t able to stop the tears from flowing. “Sara what is going on?” Catherine asked in a sincere tone of voice.
“Nothing.” Sara answered. “Why are you here?” Sara asked avoiding the obvious questions in Catherine’s eyes.
“Yes, right I always cry my eyes out for no reason too.” Catherine said with a sarcastic sneer in her voice, immediately she turned back to Sara. “I am sorry I shouldn’t have said that! I came here to talk to you. I want us to be friends, not to fight. Shall I make some coffee and maybe we can talk.” Catherine offered as she got up and stepped into the kitchen area. Minutes later Catherine sat down with two mugs of coffee in her hands; she handed one over to Sara who absent-mindedly took a sip. “Do you want to talk?” Catherine offered Sara a way to start the conversation.
“It’s ehm … about Grissom and me we are, I mean we were in a relationship.” Sara blurted out trying to get this over with.
“Sara, how could you. You know you would get hurt he’s the most insensitive person we know. He never shows his feelings how can you try and have a relationship with a man like him, one that is so unavailable.” Catherine sighed. “There are so many people who would love you for who you are. So many people who care for you and you don’t even see that, you only see it if Grissom looks at you. You where setting yourself up for disappointment, you must have known that before you started a relationship with him.” Catherine said angrily, not so much mad at Sara but mad at Grissom for hurting her.
“I love someone else, that is why he told me to go. He told me to follow my heart.” Sara broad in, her voice load as she tried to stop the rant that came from Catherine’s mouth. Angry words which all implied that it was all Grissom’s fault and for her it would be easy to leave it like that but she didn’t want to blame Grissom for everything. It might be hard to admit but he was right. He was one hundred percent right. “I love Grissom with all my heart, but there is someone else I love just as much maybe even more.”
“Then why the hell are you with Grissom if there is someone you love more. Why aren’t you with that person? Why do you always have to take the hard way, nothing can ever be easy with you.” Catherine said, she was in a rage. Within seconds she went from blaming Grissom to defending him. Sara would probably never understand this woman. But she did know one thing, she loved her and she had to give it a shot. After all Grissom had said that she might be surprised. He wouldn’t have said that if I didn’t know what he was talking about.
“You’re beautiful.” Sara blurted out as she looked at the stunning woman in front of her. Catherine immediately stopped talking; she stared at Sara not entirely sure if she had heard what she thought she had heard. Until Sara leaned into Catherine; her lips softly collided with Catherine’s in a kiss which was soon taken over by Catherine.
The end!
The Challenge –> How about one from Sara’s point of view. Catherine is cynical after finding out about Grissom and Sara. Meanwhile, the only reason why Sara even turned to Grissom was because she thought she had no chance with Catherine. Nothing sexual happens between grissom and sara but he senses that she doesn’t really want to be there, that her heart is somewhere else. He tells her to follow her heart wherever that may take her. She explains that it isnt that easy. She ends up leaving and Catherine is waiting at her door when she gets back to her apartment. Catherine tries to talk to her about what she was thinking going with Grissom and she eventually blows up at her. Somewhere after Catherine’s long speech Sara simply says “You’re beautiful.” and that silences Catherine. She doesn’t say anything, only looks at her intently. Sara leans in and kisses her and if you want to add anything past that like NC-17.. feel free!!!
