Title: Internal dialogue
Author: nepeace
Fandom: CSI
Pairing: Sara Sidle/Gil Grissom, Sara Sidle/Catherine Willows
Rating: PG-13
Internal dialogue
Sara Sidle leaned over and kissed Grissom quickly on his lips before she got up and left the darkened office. She closed the door behind her looking left and right before she walked down the corridor. She hated the way things where. She hated the secrecy surrounding their relationship, sometimes she felt like she wanted to scream from the rooftops that she loved Grissom. Other times she was glad that they kept it a secret. But she knew that she couldn’t tell anyone, in fact she could get into a lot of trouble if someone found out. She would probably be fired, and Grissom who knew what would happen to him. God knows that their are people who rather see him go then stay.
But then again she wasn’t sure about her own feelings anymore, so maybe the fact that no one knows about their relationship was a good thing. Maybe they could make a clean break without anyone knowing. Otherwise she would probably be without a job, but then again it was Grissom she was talking about, he wasn’t a man who would make a problem out of this. At least not to the point where it would escalate. Sara wasn’t sure what she should do or even what she could do.
Sara pushed the door to the locker room open, she heard the shower next to the locker room running, basically she knew that it had to be Catherine who was in it. There was no other woman in the building except for some of the lab rats. Plus Grissom had told her that Catherine had a nasty body dump. And she was probably in the shower trying to get rid of the smell of decay. Sara stalled, she rummaged through her bag. Looking at the things in her locker. Stalling until Catherine finally entered the locker room wearing nothing more then her bra and panties. Sara couldn’t help but gaze at Catherine through her eyelashes. Still acting as if she was trying to find something in her bag. From the corner of her eye she was checking Catherine out who was slowly dressing herself, Sara had no idea if it was just her imagination or if Catherine really was moving in slow motion, it almost was a reversed striptease. Sara couldn’t help the way she felt, she was in love with Grissom but seeing this woman like this it took her breath away. She gave her goose bumps the way Grissom never did.
She had been involved with women before but never someone like Catherine, a true Goddess in her eyes. She looked up to the woman for her strength and her look on life. For the things that she had achieved, and her mesmerizing beauty. Sara closed her locker with a bang, hoping to scare the train of thought that was running through her mind a hundred miles and hour away. But there was no such luck, Catherine looked up and smiled at her. Sara smiled back, she past Catherine and wished her a good day before she left the locker room. She walked down the corridor, a huge grin plastered on her face. And mental images of an half undressed Catherine floating through her mind. She never knew why she fell for Grissom … Sometimes she didn’t get her own screwed up feelings and she didn’t get why she always insisted on going out with men. Why couldn’t she just admit that she was a lesbian, starting with telling Grissom that or at least telling him thats she was interested in someone else and that this could not go on any longer.
